question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we're making bets on your personal life
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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