Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
