how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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