How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
