some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
