I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
