talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
