dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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