I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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