i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
