Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
too bad you live with your parents still
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
its liver damage thursday
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
