I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
