whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
