yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
