im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
