he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
