Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize