I need help removing her.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
