Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
