i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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