I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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