Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
