I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize