Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
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and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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