Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
