It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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