I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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