yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
