You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
