I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
