How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
