i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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