Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
