none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i wish my penis had a tongue
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
