It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize