Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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