Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
