Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
