But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
