we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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