Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
