i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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