We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating