This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
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My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
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it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.