I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick