When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
