I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize