Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I touched a dick in church today
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
