did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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