Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
