hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
