He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
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You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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