I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
