were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
