There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
