I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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