the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
