what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
