i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
