Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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