I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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