I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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