i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
