i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
