this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
