i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
