whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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