god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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